Walking Away from an Adult Child with Mental Illness: When and How?
A painful yet necessary decision: Understanding when stepping back is the right choice for your well-being.
Walking away is not about abandonment; it's about self-preservation when involvement becomes harmful. Here are the signs that it may be time to step back.
1. When Their Behavior Becomes Abusive
If your adult child is verbally, emotionally, or physically abusive, you have the right to protect yourself. Boundaries are essential; if they keep crossing them, distance may be necessary.
2. When They Refuse Help or Treatment
If they consistently reject therapy, medication, or professional help despite clear struggles, you cannot force them to change. You can offer support, but you are not responsible for their recovery.
3. When Their Actions Destroy Your Mental Health
If their behavior causes severe stress, anxiety, or depression, you need to prioritize your well-being. You cannot pour from an empty cup—taking care of yourself is not selfish.
4. When They Engage in Self-Destructive or Illegal Behavior
If they are involved in substance abuse, criminal acts, or reckless behaviors, you may need to step back for your own safety. Encouraging them to seek help is essential, but enabling them is not.
5. When You Enable Instead of Help
If you're financially supporting them or constantly rescuing them from consequences, you might be preventing their growth. Sometimes, tough love is the most compassionate choice.
6. When There’s No Mutual Effort in the Relationship
If the relationship is one-sided, where you give and they only take, it might be time to step back. Healthy relationships require effort from both sides.
How to Walk Away (If Necessary)
- Set Clear Boundaries: Clearly communicate what you will and won’t tolerate.
- Seek Professional Guidance: A therapist or support group can help you navigate this decision.
- Consider a Middle Ground: Instead of cutting them off completely, limit interactions in a healthy way.
- Release Guilt: Choosing your well-being is not selfish—it’s necessary.
The Christian Perspective: A Biblical Approach to Depression
My research is focused on the causes of depression and possible solutions. I recommend seeking a Christian counselor who can provide guidance based on biblical principles.
- My 35-question survey helps identify root causes of depression rather than just diagnosing it.
- Many depression cases require talk therapy, not just medication.
- Pastors and Christian counselors can explore spiritual, ideological, and physical factors affecting mental health.
Modern psychology often ignores spiritual and ideological influences on depression. This is why biblical worldview classes in the church are crucial for those struggling.
Walking away doesn’t mean you stop loving them. Sometimes, love means letting go and allowing them to take responsibility for their own journey.
You can’t force change in someone who isn’t ready, and protecting your own health is just as important as caring for theirs.
Why there is a division in the evangelical church
In this book I am attempting to explain WHY this conflict over cultural issues is occurring and to bring about UNITY within the church, once we understand what is happening.